Where I am

Flat out....I'm struggling. I wish I could form words to how I am feeling. I just can't seem to complete a full sentence. I have a lot of random thoughts going on. Here are a few:

F is struggling too, I can see it. I want to help, but don't know how. He's frustrated with his body, I get it. This morning he woke up and his wrists were swollen, he could barely open and close his hands. He said the pain was incredible. I told him to take the day off, but he wouldn't. So Advil to the rescue. Hope it helps a little for him. The medicine he's on is making this happen, nothing that can be done. He'll/we'll survive this. I know his new attitude is not him talking it's the meds, but it's beginning to get hard to not let it effect me. He did ask me this morning if he's being mean, and I answered honestly, he apologized. I told we're good, I know it's not on purpose.

I mention the word balance a lot. I feel like I struggle with this as well. I need to find my "happy center" and focus my thought there.

Goals:

smile

laugh

just breath