Am I the problem???

I ask myself that question a lot lately. I can't help but wonder.

Last night I was telling my husband how annoyed I was that my older sister, and younger brother weren't making an effort with my older brother. My older brother is going through a very rough time in his life, and needs as much support as we can give. Yet no matter now nicely I bring it up, or make suggestions, they don't pick up the phone and call him! So this weekend I sort of hit my wall. It happened to be a very bad emotional weekend for him. Yesterday I wrote an email to siblings saying, I usually don't flat out tell you what to do, and I know WE ARE ALL BUSY,however pick up the freakin phone and call him! Later I get a call from my sister saying "just wanted to let you know I will call him later tonight" told her I didn't need a run down, just needed them to know that as of right now it's important we show him our love and support. Of course I get an email back from the little brother saying " I know I need to step up more" I'm so busy, but promise I will make an effort. As much as I wanted to call and yell, I know there is no point to it. After I tell my husband all of this, he says "don't get mad" (which just means he's about to say something I don't want to hear) "but you can't make your siblings do stuff, they have to take responsibilty for themselves" "if your always forcing them to make the effort, they are not really doing it because they want to" which yes I agree with what he said, however I don't really care if I'm the one who has to force them to call, or see him. He'll never know the difference, all he'll see is that his family does care about him. What my husband doesn't understand is my family is much more complicated than his. He might have to deal with 1 or 2 things from his brother or mother, but especially lately I deal with is mom more than he does. Sometimes I feel as if he doesn't truly know how good he has it. Eventho he will tell me a lot, how lucky he is, how good he's taken care of, I can't help but wonder does he really!??

Balance is the key word. For all of us. Finding balance in our lives. I'm not sure why it is soooo hard for me to do. Well that is not true, balance is hard to do when you keep putting more and more on your plate. I do that....all the time. I can't really say no to things. I strive to be the best friend, wife, mother, worker, sister, daughter, etc. I want the people who are special in my life to know I care, and want to do whatever I can for them. I don't tend to let many "special" people into my life, for this very reason.

I suppose I just might be the problem.....