I keep asking my self that question, this week. My personality type is to fix things. Something happens to me, or someone I love, I immediately want to fix it. When I can't I'm frustrated. I realize it's my issue. I can't help but wonder am I truly giving all I can to my friends when they need it? I'm at the point in life where everything basically needs to be scheduled. I don't have a lot of extra time. Most of my relationships are based via phone. A select few I actually get to see.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm soooo frustrated! How do I find the right type of balance to make everyone happy?
My closest girlfriend is not in a good place. I thought she was, we hung out last Thursday, talked, ate dinner, watched some of our favorite shows. This week, she's so unhappy with basically every aspect of her life. It's a 180 from where she was before. I'm not knocking her feelings by any means. We all go through personal funks. I want to make sure I'm giving her all she needs to work through this, and honestly I feel like I suck! Is it because I can't fix what she's going through?
I haven't had a close girlfriend in years. The last friendship didn't end well. I walked away not trusting woman. Not wanting to put the effort it takes to make a friendship work. It wasn't until I met my new friend, that I realized she was worth all the effort in the world! I can't imagine my life without her. I don't tend to lean on her as much as I should, again it's a personal flaw on my part, but she gives me exactly what I need, when I need it. Our friendship is so natural. Everything I do, I want to do it. To my girlfriend, I'm here, always will be.
I'm trying to be a really good friend. Maybe this is a personal struggle.
Merry Christmas 2012!
12 years ago
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2 comments:
Hey A -
You ARE a good, if not awesome, friend but you also try to 'fix' things that you don't necessarily have the power to fix. Sometimes all you have to do is just be there and listen, and I know that's frustrating because you think you know what to say to 'fix' it but sometimes that person just has to figure it out for themselves. No matter how right you are (because I rarely see you give bad advice).
You have enough to juggle in your own life and it's not your responsibility to fix everyone. Friendship is a give and take thing, but sometimes you can only give so much. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone listen to you. You might feel a lot more relaxed if you would just set that part of you free. It was you that told me to stop worrying about the things I cannot control, and now I feel like I have to tell you the same thing (tee hee).
Well anyway I know you know all of this, it's just a matter of actually doing it right? You're right it is your personal flaw, but not everyone is perfect. You do need to rely more on those friends that you trust, you have to learn that true friends enjoy helping you, so let them.
J
Wow! I do not even know where to begin. Actually - I do! You are a wonderful WONDERFUL friend. I could not be more blessed.
I agree about the phone, but sometimes it is just the way it works out. Sometimes it is distance, sometimes it is schedules, and sometimes it's something else. But the fact that you still talk is the main thing!
I never had the chance to send you more of a reply since I have actually been busy at work (crazy I know) and I was emotionally unstable...and as life would have it our schedules were just off that we were unable to connect by phone! However, when you sent that email - it was enough! The last paragraph said it all. It was what, when, and how I needed to hear it. When I started to crumble a little that day, I would go back and reread it.
I have to admit - I used to hate your scheduler:), but as I have finally come to notice it really does help keep things straight. I love when you say you pen me in! I know that we are both crazy busy and the fact that we set time aside to spend time with each means the WORLD to me.
I could never tell you how much you inspire me to be a better friend because you give of yourself without a thought!
Please know that just because someone is down does not mean that you are not a good friend. You help keep me on the right path...I know that I am just going through the growing pains of keeping good friends around and letting go of people who drain me.
I truly am blessed to have you in my life...and even more blessed to know we are both dedicated to being there for each other.
There is more - but I would rather talk to you. I love ya!
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