Worst Mother Award

Yesterday afternoon Charlie was tired, and fighting it. So I put him and I in our bed, rubbed his back, eventually he feel asleep. When I got up I placed 4 pillows all around him (I remember doing this with my nieces) 1 hour passes, then 2 hours, I was so happy he was taking an actual nap. F had left with Y to the store, I peeked in the bedroom, still sleeping. Went to the living room, turned on the TV, heard a huge bang, and the screaming.....I ran to the bedroom, didn't see him anywhere, went to F's side of the bed (keep in mind it's very close to the wall air conditioning, and the nightstand, there Charlie was flat on his back face up (thank god) crying. I hesitated for a minute didn't know if I should pick him up or not, but did. I put him on the bed, checked his neck, arms, legs, back, everything, once I didn't see anything I picked him up and tried to comfort him. I could not get him to stop crying, I do realize he was shocked and scared to death. I hated that I was home alone. So I called F, no answer, then called Y, when she answered all I could yell was "put your dad on the phone!" during all this I was bawling as well, so I barely could say "he fell off the bed" F was really close to the house, so he came right home. Charlie was still crying, F took all his clothes off, his back was a little red, probably where he hit the bed on the way down. The crying stopped, and we talked to him, changed his diaper, and he began to smile and be himself again. I wanted to take him to the ER but F said it wasn't necessary. As the night came around he was a little fussy, but nothing serious.
I am so mad at myself, I know he's starting to crawl, and he's fearless, he tries to get off the bed, and sofa all the time. He stands up in his crib, on the coffee table, etc. So no more sleeping on the bed solo, I've learned my lesson.